I Have Ketchup Stains on My Couch!
It’s 9:00 a.m. on Sunday Morning. You overslept and are scrambling to get to church on time. The shirt you need is not ironed and your daughter just spilt fruit juice all over her white dress. She has to be changed and now you have to find something else for her to wear. You finally get it all together and get in the car. Oops! You forgot your Bible. Back in the house you go to grab it. Let’s try again. Finally you hop in the car and off you go. Then your husband says “Did I mention to you the Smith’s were supposed to come over after church today?” As if things were not already stressful enough!!
This is not an uncommon scenario at our house. If you are like me, you start racking your brain trying to come up with something you can fix to eat and how you can get the house in order before anyone gets there. What about the dishes in the sink, the clothes in the laundry room, and the ketchup stains on the couch? What will they think? Don’t strangle your husband! The Scripture says in 1 Peter 4:9 to offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. I know…it’s not that you mind people coming over, but if you just would have known, you could have been prepared. Relax Martha. The truth is people will be more impressed that you care enough to have them in your home than about how the meal tastes or how perfect and tidy the house seems to be kept. This is especially true about teenagers. Yes, we don’t want to portray ourselves as slobs, but it is ok for a house to appear that someone lives in it. It’s about fellowship and becoming involved in the lives of those God has placed in your path.
Ministry and hospitality go hand in hand. 1 Timothy 3:1-7 lists out the qualities of an overseer or minister. A hospitable personality is included among the most important traits a minister is required to possess. In Titus, elders are required to be hospitable. This is a resounding qualification in the leadership of the church. Though it may seem your husband just enjoys having people over (which is a good thing), he is actually fulfilling a duty of his calling. As wives, there are many arenas in which it is hard for us to assist. However, the avenue of hospitality is one that we can pour into unreservedly.
Did I mention the ketchup stains on the couch? Most likely, they got there from the teens that were over the night before! Don’t stress over that either. These are just material things that have no purpose in eternity. On the contrary, investing in the lives of your students has lasting effects. Teenagers long to hang out together. Why not give them a place where they can meet in a Christian environment? It is one thing to get to know your students at worship services, but there is something about having them in your home that forms an even greater connection. To know they are welcome speaks volumes of your love and concern for them.
There doesn’t have to be planned activities or large varieties of food. Just pull out some chips and popcorn and make a pitcher of kool-aid and you are good to go! A benefit regarding teens is that you don’t necessarily have to get anything ready before they get there! They are perfectly satisfied hanging out while you make cookies. Many times, it can be a bonding time with the girls as you bake them together. I have learned to keep a few things in the pantry for these last minute occasions. A block of Velveeta cheese and a can of Rotel are always beneficial in making cheese dip on short notice. I always keep a box of brownie mix or frozen cookie dough on hand so that I can quickly make some goodies when we get a phone call saying some youth are coming by to see us. Bring out some cards or dominoes or even old games they played as a kid and everyone will have a great evening. Furthermore, just sit and visit with them.
Your hospitality can also extend beyond your home. It may be displayed in the form of giving a ride to an out-of-town football game or taking a youth out to eat that normally wouldn’t be able to do so. Whatever the situation, don’t hesitate to extend your invitation or generosity.
My husband and I have always enjoyed having our students with us. Countless times I have been told that we need to “tell those kids to go home”. I disagree! We have referred to them as “our kids” and that’s how we view them! There are instances when we’ve had to say it’s time to go home because we have to go to bed and other times when we are busy or we need to go do something with just us as a family. However, we have tried to convey that we welcome them into our lives, not just on Wednesday and Sunday, and thoroughly enjoy their company. While there needs to be boundaries established from the beginning, currently some of our closest friends are former students in our ministry. It has been such a privilege to form relationships that have been centered around the Lord and grown into lifetime friendships.
Our Father is pleased when we find joy in what He has asked us to do. Choose to view it as an enjoyable time, not unanticipated stressful evening. Remember, you may never realize what kind of blessing your kindness is to a student. We don’t always know the struggles and environments in which our teenagers are forced to dwell. Your home or presence may be a place viewed as a refuge they can utilize for a short time. Beyond the scope of youth, sometimes new young couples are searching for a place to find belonging. Don’t deny the opportunity to minister beyond the church walls because of petty excuses. Let the Lord use you and the resources He has provided to reach out to the body.