Dragon Slayer
Are we really out of diapers? How could I have forgotten to put that on my shopping list? These are questions I asked my husband late one evening. We had no choice but to head to Wal-Mart. What we didn’t know was that the Lord was directing our path so we would discover a secret meeting. He took us right by a deacon’s office where we observed a gathering of a few church members. What was this combination of people doing so late at night in a public building that had been closed for over 3 hours? It was later revealed that they were discussing my husband, and it cut to the heart. One of the vehicles belonged to a deacon whose family we had just taken a meal to the week before. Talk about surprised! I once read a statement from a minister’s wife who said “I didn’t even know we had any dragons in our church, and then I returned home from a conference to find them camped on our doorstep.” She was referring to a book entitled Well-Intentioned Dragons: Ministering to Problem People in the Church by Marshall Shelley. I can relate! I would venture to make a guess that at some point in ministry, you have had to deal with some “dragons” as well, whether they snuck up on you or attacked with ferocity. Some of these people undoubtedly feel that they are doing the right thing, while others’ motives are questionable. Although it is not a topic that we like to focus on, unfortunately circumstances arise that wound us. Whether the situation involves people of the congregation, students, parents, or other staff members, the experience can be extremely painful. I believe the hardest things I’ve ever had to go through have dealt with conflict regarding our ministry. I am not sure if the intense hurt is a result of taking harsh criticism for something we have poured our whole life into, or maybe it is just so difficult to swallow the attacks from people you deemed godly brothers and sisters in Christ. Unfortunately, my husband and I have our share of scars. Some are big, some have faded, and some still seem like an open wound at times. I can remember feeling a whirlwind of emotions from these occasions. My initial reaction was often one of shock, as I did not realize anything was going on. People have gotten offended from things we have done or said and become bitter about it, and the whole time we have never known there was even a problem! Other times I can remember a feeling of pain and ultimate betrayal as we would discover some who we deemed our closest friends had become our biggest critic. We had a friend who was starting a Saturday night worship service in a vacant building on the square for anyone in the community who wanted to get together with other believers and worship. It was supposed to be especially refreshing for any ministers who wanted to come because ministers are always the ones who have to do the preaching. It was going to be on Saturday nights so that it would not interfere with any Sunday services. Our friend asked my husband to help with the music. In the early idea stages, a few deacons were informed of the potential service. Because it was not going to be held at our church or under our church’s leadership, my husband was banned from attending by the pastor. I really had to battle this in my heart. I thought we were about the Kingdom, not the church empire! One of the deacon’s who really pushed for my husband to be forbidden to attend was angry because he was not one of the “first” to know about the service idea. Out of bitterness and malice over something so small, he began to rally against him and spread false statements about what Mikey was teaching to other parents. Praise God some of those parents came to us so that we were aware of these attempts! This was the same man whose family we had poured abundant time, financial support, and prayer into the previous year because of hard, desperate times in their lives. Dishonesty, deceit, and conspiracy among Christians were actions I could not comprehend. I slowly began to realize the more work you begin to do for the Kingdom, the harder Satan attacks. It can come in any form, even church members or staff. Those feelings of hurt I harbored would later dissolve into anger and resentment. I am not saying that was the right attitude but I am just being honest. Even though my husband more often has been the direct target because he was the one on staff, I think sometimes it is harder to stand by and see the pain that he is experiencing. I believe that we are one in Christ, therefore, when Mikey hurts, I hurt. I saw the ministry as ours together, so if it was under scrutiny, I was affected as well. In the flesh, I always want to do something to get justice or set someone straight. This is especially true when I feel that the dragon is self-seeking or flat out deceitful. Don’t get me wrong. There are occasions when my husband and I have erred in ministry. We are human. Sometimes the complaints have been justified or even petty enough to make us laugh. In those cases, the best thing to do is take responsibility, apologize, and ask for forgiveness in KINDNESS. If they forgive you, then a relationship is restored. If they don’t, then pray diligently for them about the matter, but move on with the Lord’s work. However, the dragons that catch me blind-sided and stunned by false accusations and betrayals are the ones that wage war in my mind and spirit. So what are we supposed to do in these situations when we feel absolutely helpless and discouraged? I know